slave journal of the kiva

Master had allowed the kiva for some weeks now to wear His collar. a silver circle around its neck. but not fastened. not sealed. it took it off for sleep and for showering. as well to polish it.

but after He had it wipe the blood of His shirt, He told it to stand in the light. and it did so. belly full of His piss and cum, it stood still while Master screwed the collar on, sealing it on its neck. no “collaring” ceremony. no ceremony at all. no witnesses. no celebration. just the simple fact and facet of a collar being fastened around its neck. His collar. claiming its flesh in a visible fashion. a highly visible fashion. that would be understood by some. but not all.

after all, it had been wearing this collar to work for some time and not one coworker has said a thing about it. smiling it told Him, “if they find out that it’s locked on, it’ll tell them it is a security measure. so no one steals it.”

but between a locked collar and a nape piercing it will continue to leave its hair down at work.

it hurried afterwards to make lunch for Master and itself and to eat. not much time left. before it must get back to work.

before lunch it had had a headache. and felt rather icky. it even let Master know that it was having ass cramps. but after. it was aglow. happy. content. it had been over two weeks since it last got His piss and it was long overdue. combine that with over a week since His cum, and it is a small wonder it had a headache.

it entered quarters, knowing that He would be there. a lunch break is short but Master makes the most of the time. it is a ritual between Master and His kiva, upon entering quarters, it is to squat before Him, and ready itself to receive Cock. so it did, as it walked in, locking the door hastily, without looking, eyes focused on Cock. as Master pulled It out. and it dropped to a crouch, mouth eagerly open. hungering. for whatever Cock Master chooses to give it. piss, cum, sucking… it just wanted Cock in its hot mouth. and it was allowed to receive Cock, and this time Master told it, so it didn’t have to worry about hesitating or diving right in to sucking.

“piss,” He said.

and it readied its body, mind and soul to receive Master’s piss into its body. He pisses into it faster now. it can feel that it is getting better at swallowing His piss quickly but He still pushes its limits. though He confused it today, by telling it to swallow, and warning it not to let any piss slip out. it got confused because as He told it to swallow, in a stern voice, it was in fact swallowing, and keeping pace rather well, it felt. and its confusion showed on its face, but not in its actions. it let Him know it didn’t understand His tone of voice, without missing a beat when it came to drinking His piss. it understood Him to be more encouraging than admonishing and kept swallowing throughout. suck gulp suck gulp suck gulp. a rhythm, which involves keeping some piss in its mouth, suck, breathe, gulp. can’t forget to breathe.

and then the stream of piss had ended and it moved its mouth firmly up and down Cock three times to milk the last of His piss into its tummy. and then it continued to worship Cock with its mouth, to get It into a state of hardness. as it sucked, it reached to its side and unzipped its skirt, slipping it off, and its underwear, going to one knee to get the proper angle and leverage, but never taking its mouth off of Cock. He told it to go ahead and stand to remove the skirt and underwear, and it did so. still keeping its mouth on Cock. bent over, worshiping Cock as it undressed, revealing its garter belt and stockings. leaving its skirt and underwear in a pile with its shoes.

Master approved of its removing its clothing. “does it want this Cock in its ass?” mmmmhmmm it affirmed. “even though it can’t cum?” and it bobbed its head in agreement. it wanted Him to fuck its ass, for His pleasure, to take its ass that had been without skunk’s constant stretching for several days. to hurt it.

“is it plugged?” He asked, and it tried to point to the underwear to explain why it shook its head no. to remind Him. it is on its period. and it does not penetrate His cunt with tampons. so it cannot wear skunk, because that makes a big bloody mess. it slipped its shirt partway off but couldn’t finish without taking its mouth off of Cock, and it looked to Master for guidance in this matter. He pushed it off, pushing it to the side and it settled into position to receive Cock in its pussy. shirt still semi on its arms. over its head.

it must have accidentally wiped some of its spit off of Cock because it felt dry going in. and Master had to push, and it had to push back, relishing the pain, while trying not to injure itself on Cock. but also trying not to shy from the pain. pushing. and Him pushing on it, it in a low kneeling stance on the floor, legs being pushed wide. and it soon had to stretch them out straight or risk overstretching. and He slammed down onto it when it moved its legs. taking it with His body. claiming its flesh for His own. and soon, the stimulation was too much, and it began to hump urgently back onto Cock, begging. begging Master to let it cum. to feed it His cum from Cock. and He enjoyed it.

“it is such a good fuck when it is desperate for a cum. such a good little fuck toi when it is begging.”

begging begging near tears and then He finally allowed it to suck on Cock again. and to clean it. but He did not yet cum.

Master brought up lies the other day. how He is having it lie to the world more and more. because of course there is a great deal of its life that is now quite secret from its coworkers and friends and family. things that must remain secret, like the marks He has made upon its body. there are some that can be told some, but none that can be told all. and so it is a liar.

and He asked it if it had issue with the fact that He was making it a liar.

and it thought, it’s lying? before remembering that there is so much of its life that is concealed from those around it, even those close to it. and it cocked its head and thought, wow, it is lying it supposes. it really had not thought of it in those terms until Master brought it up that way. it is certainly true, that He had made it into a liar. but this is how it responded to Him:

“it does not have issue with doing whatever necessary to be allowed Your Cock. to be allowed to be Yours. hasn’t it always been a liar in a way, only before it lied to itself for no reason and now it lies to others for You?”

His only response was, “Smile”

and that made it happy. because those had felt like bold words to it. but true. for the truth is often bold. it had spent a lifetime lying to itself, about what it wanted, what it needed, what it required in life, out of life, from lovers, from friends. only now is it beginning to tell itself the truth. thanks to Master.

it received a message from Master today.

“it is to make a mixture of chili oil and olive oil. 1/5 chili to 4/5 olive. fill the syringe 1/2 way. inject some into My cunt. the rest store in the fridge.”

and so the kiva found a small bottle to use for mixing and mixed up the desired proportions of chili oil and olive oil. it got out the syringe that Master had used and left for it to use, and filled it halfway.

its hands were shaking a bit and quite cold. it was a bit scared to be doing this to itself. to be opening this door of intense pain inside itself. and it first went to the bathroom to piss, so that it wouldn’t have to right away after applying the oil. because that might wash it out too quickly.

and then it laid down, pulling down its underwear and breathing, knowing with its whole being that doing this is doing His will. and, though it did not enjoy having to penetrate His cunt, it plunged the syringe inside, pushing it in, but not too deeply, and then gripping the syringe with both hands to inject His cunt with the hot oils.

as before the burning took a half minute or so to register, but it began to really feel the pain soon enough and its eyes crossed and it felt as though it was having an epiphany. the pain, the act of pain, felt so good.

it knows, it has known, that pain is a lover for it. but it felt that very deeply today as the burning fucked His cunt. that is how it felt. as though the cunt were being fucked by pain. its hips rising and falling in rhythm trying to match its lover, but its lover did not move like that. but it still humped the air, moaning, crying out to God, not in pain but in ecstasy.

and then the thought came to it, as the painpleasure continued on relentlessly, that the pain was like a rapist. taking it. there was nothing it could do to stop the burning pain from the oil in His cunt. nothing. it could protest, it could scream, it could accept and enjoy the ride. its choice would not make a differenced. this pain would run its course no matter what it did. a completely merciless fuck. sharp pain burning with no way to stop it. it could only ride it out.

and it felt like it was riding the pain. riding it to orgasm, as it humped the air. it used the hitachi, but did not cum on the hitachi. it only came when it was just the pain. the hitachi was good though, because it helped the kiva suck with His cunt. pulling the oil in deeper, letting less escape, clenching and clinching, pulling and sucking, pleasure married with pain inside it.

on. and on. and on. there is no way to stop. no way to beg for mercy. no way to do anything but submit to the experience. it had started this, and must finish it, but not on its terms. the end would come in time.

pain as a rapist and a rapist as a lover.

pain is a lover.

pain fucked His cunt today. insidious burning pain. hurting it. making love to it.

hips helplessly rising and falling in response to its lover. no tears, no crying. just moans of pleasure, and sometimes a squeak of surprise. “oh God oh God oh yes oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck…”

and now it is empty of sensation, hollow and void. and it laughs at itself for shaking so, and craves more.

the kiva was half naked. half, because it had to go back to work soon, so undressing all the way would waste time. its shirt was off, but its bra was on, its tits spilling out, properly displayed for Him. its skirt was on, but tucked so that it concealed nothing more than its waist. it was preparing lunch. and He came up behind it, and placed His hands on its flesh. open hands, open on its flesh and the kiva felt great pleasure at His touch. leaning into Him as He grabbed it and pulled it close into His body.

“I’m a greedy Bastard,” He said. “I won’t share this with anyone.” this, being the kiva, the body and life He has cultivated and created.

wrapped up in His arms, held, it felt so safe. so good. so right. perfect. to feel one of His hands grip its thigh, slide near His cunt, and the other go between its stomach and its tits. possessing it.

and it felt His. relaxed in His arms. content. happy. so happy that He owns it. it must always strive to be worthy of being kept by Him. always.

when it went to the bathroom, once it was back at work, it took skunk out of its pussy and put it in its mouth. as it usually does. what was unusual was the wash of pink that covered the toilet paper after it wiped its ass.

Cock had made it bleed inside.

it guessed this was because of it having to leave skunk out for a portion of the weekend, unable to penetrate. but it didn’t really matter why, so much as the fact that it happened. that Cock still can make it bleed, even though its pussy is a good pussy, an accommodating asshole. even with all Master does to its ass and has it do to its ass, Cock can still make it bleed.

it saw Him. and, knowing its place, squatted before Him, in readiness to receive Cock, should He choose to allow it that privilege. no underwear, a short skirt, He could smell His cunt between its legs, smell the eagerness of His cunt as its mouth closed around Cock, sucking reverently, hesitating only to see if He might piss in it this time. He did not piss in it. telling it to suck Cock hard. and it went about that task with joy.

so good to be able to look up into His eyes as He spoke to it. as it sucked Cock. worshiped God. orgasming from serving Him, moaning in pleasure when He deigned to touch its head, petting its hair. in anticipation, it reached back and pulled skunk out from its pussy.

Cock was in readiness. and He had it go to its knees and present its pussy for Cock. after the initial penetration, delightfully tight, it had to push back to get Cock all the way inside it. had to actively not resist the pain of Cock’s entry. to accept the pain and thrive on it. He pushed it down, and it was no longer on its knees but on its belly, fallen before Him, under Him, trapped by His body, and His power. His legs pressing down on its. His words pressing into its mind.

it had skunk in its mouth, had had it there since taking its mouth off of Cock. and it could only moan yes around skunk to His questions. as He mauled it with His hands and plunged into its guts.

His hand went suddenly to its throat and gripped it firmly. and it felt a surge of joy and pleasure at being handled thusly. wishing that He might make it pass out, not caring that it had to go back to work, just wanting to be so controlled by Him. its very consciousness subject to His whim. harsh breaths forced past a constricted throat and it loved every second of it.

Cock was pounding harder and harder into its pussy. pushing it closer and closer to the brink of madness. madness because there can be no orgasm from Cock in its ass. it wanted to cum, He pushed it so hard and so close but it couldn’t. can’t. not from Cock in its ass. only in its mouth.

“please, please, please,” small whispers of sound barely escaping its lips, “please Master please feed it Your cum in its belly. please, please, please God please Master please please please,” volume increasing slightly, pitch remains the same, fervent, needy, hungry, the kiva does not think of shame or ego or humiliation. the humiliation of the situation. begging for the Cock in its ass to be put in its mouth, begging for that Cock to cum in its mouth, feed it. it does not see the humiliation. is it humiliating? debasing to beg with its whole being for Master’s cum in its belly? “please Master please feed it Your cum in its belly please please please oh God please,” hands curling in frustration and clawing vainly at the carpet it can’t cum it can’t orgasm from Cock in its ass it just can’t. and it is being thrust to the edge of orgasm so hard that it feels like the pleasure is pain is pleasure is pain. overload and all it can do is beg. beg for release. beg to be fed Master’s cum. it had been a week. and that was too long for it. “please, please God, please feed it, please Master,” no shame, why would there be shame in it? doing what is right and natural to it. begging. expressing to Master that its whole being was nothing more than a needy hole that required filling with cum.

He thrust harder and faster, madness tickling it like pleasure like pain from overload before allowing it to place its mouth on Cock and feed. on His cum. on the ass juice left on Cock. on His pleasure, the sign of His pleasure, His orgasm. cumming with Him. but not thinking of its own pleasure until His was spread inside its belly and down its throat. pulling back as He was finishing so that it might get some of His cum in its mouth, to taste and savor it. moaning loudly when it got the flavor on its tongue, because it felt so good, hips writhing humping the air at the taste of Master’s cum. it reveled in its pleasure then. knowing that it had pleased Him. but not knowing how much until He told it that He had planned not to cum in it, as punishment for an infraction it had committed over the weekend. it had been expecting punishment for that, but was horrified to learn that its punishment would have been to go without His cum.

“it redeemed itself with its begging,” He told it.

and it felt a bit confused. because the begging is so natural. so right. feels just right. as if there is no other way it should be doing things. no shame. no humiliation. only self expression. it sometimes, after the fact, feels like it isn’t begging well because mostly all it says is “please.” but it is not solely about the words. it is about the soul and the body as well as the mind. how its body begs in tune with the words. how its soul reaches out to Him and begs. how its entire being becomes one with the need and expresses that need to Master. and perhaps there is more to its begging that the kiva does not yet begin to understand. but Master does.

it was very happy to have received His cum. communion and benediction. consecration of His urinal with His cum.

“I had punishment in mind. I was not going to cum in it.

When I entered the residence it squatted to properly greet Me. With My permission it sucked Cock to hardness. I instructed it to remove the plug and point its ass into the air. I penetrated its ass pussy. I felt the moment of easy resistance was over. I kept on pushing. It squirmed deliciously. My mind was tuned to the matter of punishment, on fucking it to a frenzy, on denying it cum in its belly, on knowing its need.

Then it began to beg. Begging that struck My ears as coming from its soul. Begging that strikes My soul with the surety of the realness of its pleadings. I was struck with its surrender of its dropping of its ego and pride. I have opened it to the realm of multi orgasms. I have opened it to having orgasms as freely as water flows through ones fingers. But in this moment it had, of its own will, bowed to My will, given over to My perversion, and became My personal freak.

The image I see is of one where a glass pane is shattered by a hammer. Wwe broke though the barriers that separate Uus and, for a moment, entered into a state of where I end and it begins was undefined with Oour orgasm.”

it felt so exposed yesterday with all the attention from that other site. all the comments on its body modification choices, most made in pure reactive ignorance. and although it stands firmly on its convictions, firmly behind the cunt between its legs having no worth, it did end up feeling a little off balance yesterday afternoon.

but it learns.

and this time it remembered that its fall back position is His slave. not giving into monsters and crying in self-pity. not wallowing in the low opinions of others. they don’t matter. He does. and so it centered itself in being His slave. called forth to itself and answered with a smile of pleasure at going out in a short skirt and high heels. no underwear. a butt plug. His collar. and it felt better. more secure.

but Master was kind. and He gave it a call. and reaffirmed it in the way that it craved.

“how does it feel about My fucking its throat in the shower until it puked? making it lick up its puke? how does that make it feel?” He asked it. and it was silent. thinking. not knowing how to answer. not really knowing how it felt. and in the middle of the grocery store, having somewhat to limit its audible responses to a family friendly vocabulary. silence but its breath told a tale by itself, heavy, fast, harsh, needy. just the thought got it wet. aching.

it did love it. it reveled in being fucked in its throat until it puked. and then made to lick up its puke. it felt good. and thinking back, its main concern was not getting puke on its hair. what kind of creature in such a situation thinks only of Master’s pleasure and not mussing its hair? the kiva.

“does it know why I liked it?” He asked it.

“no,” it breathed softly, unsure if He would even hear its high pitched, strained vocalization.

“because it took it. it did not dissolve into a blubbering mess. it licked up its own puke. and someday it simply won’t puke no matter how hard Cock is shoved into its throat,” He told it. “it is strong to have done that, to have taken that and it is how I want it to be,” He said.

and it felt a warm glow of pleasure. feeling validated as His personal freak. it had not thought of the throat fucking in that way, as a strength. ever since Master had called it weak it thought of itself as weak. but there are some things in which it can exhibit strength and that is one of them. taking what Master does to it.

it is mostly beaten unrestrained, because that pleases Him, that it takes the pain without moving. restraints are a treat and a pleasure for it. but it serves better without them. making only low moans, not writhing, but remaining as still as it can, for Him. for His pleasure. a kind of strength.

and it told Him how it had felt unbalanced but called itself to being His slave and felt better. but that hearing Him call it strong and praise its taking what He did to it made it feel yet better. more confident in itself. and proud. happy.

and His voice, speaking of doing such things to it, put it on the edge of orgasm. and whiles it did not think of this at the time, later it realized and accepted that He could have told it to cum. He could have told it to cum in the middle of the grocery store, surrounded by kids buying their back to school gear, and parents and old people and employees. and it would have cum. it might even have collapsed on the floor, though it would have tried to remain standing so as not to call too much attention to itself. but it probably would have moaned. twitched. cried out. and it would have been helpless to prevent such a scene, if He told it to cum. showing that it remains weak for His manipulations. which is as it should be.

it once thought that spit was a great barrier for it. but now it finds itself thinking now and again of when He spit in its mouth. wanting Him to do it again. and yet it licked up its own puke and did not freak out. puke that consisted mostly of Master’s piss no less.

strength is strange.

Master fed it lunch today. well. technically it supposes it would be more accurate to say that Master gave it an appetizer. it made the lunch part and served that to Him and itself. but what it really needed was what He gave it.

piss.

fucking.

cum.

it came into quarters from work over its lunch hour and He told it that He needed to piss. it fumbled at His zipper, mewling in frustration when it couldn’t get at the catch. a gasp of relief at finally pulling it down and digging Cock out from behind His underwear. a privilege to touch Cock with its hands, and it savored the contact as much as it could while not dawdling in removing It. squatting, mouth resting around the head of Cock, waiting for His piss to enter its mouth.

He is going faster now. it is able to take His piss in more quickly, and be a better urinal. there is a certain rhythm to the dance of being His urinal. it must take care to swallow as it gulps, and not just suckle, or it might end up wasting some of His piss. and that would be unacceptable.

a lot of piss. nice and hot and salty. and then He allowed it to worship Cock. suck and suckle and cum from its service to Master. Cock growing hard in its mouth. filling it. it squatting low in its new shoes, higher heels, sexy and black, a low exposed squat. “is it plugged?” He asked, and it made a noise of assent around Cock. “take the plug out,” and it complied, pulling skunk from its pussy, and then, following the direction of His hands, laying back and exposing its pussy to Cock while putting skunk in its mouth. and sucking off the taste of its ass. while Master penetrated its guts, looking into its eyes.

pleasure. pain. felt. rough. felt. scratchy. as if Cock were coated in shit and rubbing the chunky bits around inside its fuckhole. it can get much pleasure and fulfillment from service to Him. being fucked by Master in its asspussy cannot make it cum, but it can give it much pleasure, aside from bringing it to the edge of orgasm. the pleasure of servicing Master. being His fucktoy. being a good little fuck for Him. that can bring it great service pleasure.

and today. the kiva finally got over whatever it was that was blocking it. and truly submitted to its utter requirement for cum.

usually it begs to taste its ass on Cock. or begs for orgasm (which it would get from sucking Cock). but not today.

“please feed it Master. please feed it cum in its mouth. please, please, please. please feed it cum,” a soft, whispering tone infusing the words and the begging, as it was difficult at first to say those words. but why? why so damn difficult when it was so fucking right? is so fucking right. so good. cum down its throat is something that it requires. the taste. the feeling. being used. all combine to be a drug that the kiva is addicted to in order for it to function like a normal, happy girl. those words, so difficult to begin, were easy to continue. and its body and soul matched the desire voiced by its mind.

and so Master fed it. pulling out and it knew what to do, it swallowed Cock and ate It and just fucking adored It with its entire being while It squirted that precious nourishment down its throat. and it convulsed in happiness and sudden orgasm. its feet tingling as Cock lay still in its mouth, Master recovering from His orgasm. it wanted to melt into a puddle of worship and not move for a few days.

but it had to get back to work. and first it had to feed Master lunch. so it got up on His command and started lunch preparations while He cleaned Cock of its dirty pussy.

and it wants more cum. needs more cum. requires more cum. one more link in the chain that binds it to Him. and such a delicious link. nasty, but oh so good.

continued from “scened“…

“I have to piss again,” He told it. and it was happy to open its mouth around Cock and wait for yet more of Master’s piss to enter its mouth. not a lot of piss this time. He had already emptied the majority of His piss into its belly. and as it slid its mouth up Cock to squeeze the last drops of piss from It, He indicated it was to suck. so it worshiped Cock, and then He began to fuck its face.

it gagged. a burp escaped its lips. and He ordered it to the shower stall. it was naked, of course. He was wearing His underwear with Cock out. He began to fuck its face in earnest. and it knew what would happen if it gagged. if it threw up. He had told it. it knew. and so it had great incentive to not spit up all over itself. but Cock is stronger than its throat. and He forced Cock down its throat, hard, fast, forcing it to puke His piss up from gagging. there was first just a little spit up, it could have recovered given time, but Master gave it no time and it puked. pulling back enough not to splash Master with its foulness.

“lick its puke from the floor. lick it,” He said. implacable. and it did so, trying to keep its hair out of the mess. licking up a small taste. grateful that it did not, at this time, have to lick the shower floor clean. but no. back to Cock. back to worshiping, to trying to keep from puking. no break no rest no chance to swallow it puked again almost immediately. again, it leaned down to lick up its spit up, but this time it was too slow from trying to keep its hair out, too slow, befuddled, drowning in sensation. He shoved its face and hair down into its puke and rubbed its nose in the mess it made trying trying so hard not to puke again it tried to breathe to swallow but He allowed it no time no weakness He fucked its face again and it puked again.

but this time was more violent. this time it didn’t pull back fast enough. and some of its foul puke splashed onto Master’s underwear. it was aghast, but had no time to apologize, He wanted its face in the puke, licking it, and it did. how dare it oh it did not mean to, it did not mean to oh fuck.

Cock went back into its mouth, because of course it must clean Cock of the nastiness it had put on It. (interesting that both its fuck holes make nasty messes, but it would rather eat shit than puke.) and this time He did let it go a little slower and recover itself. a chance to breathe but all it wanted to do was cry in shame at puking on Master’s clothing. but He would not let it be so self-pitying. He told it to quit whining and it put its focus back on Cock.

after that, it was allowed to wash Cock, and rinse itself and dry itself off. then it had to wash out the shower and floor of its puke. during which time He left it to its work in the bathroom.

when it came back out of the bathroom He stood before it expectantly. and it squatted before Him and sucked Cock. sucked It hard and then He told it to stand, turn, and bend over. then He took it where it stood, though He did allow it to turn a bit so it could brace against a wall as He fucked it. a very alive position that required its concentration to remain upright, required it to focus on Cock. it was. nice. bent over and taking Cock up its ass. like the car, only less support. and the position of its body. open. dirty. tits swinging and swaying. still tingly with remembered pain as they bounced in rhythm with Master’s fucking it. but the position was also a challenge for its leg muscles and soon they began to ache. enough that it knew they would soon collapse and it managed to gasp out why it was moaning to Him. why it was beginning to tremble in its legs hard.

He told it it could go to the floor and it slid down, trying to keep Cock inside it, but its legs fell too quickly and Cock popped out.

“Cock fell out,” He told it, for it had collapsed to the ground, unable to hold itself up. it tried putting Cock back in its pussy because it was not thinking at this point, as much as purely reacting. He had to remind it that when Cock comes out of its ass, it needs to clean it before Cock goes anywhere else. and so it cleaned Cock and came form the wonderful feeling of fuck-coated Cock in its mouth, before He pushed it off, down and took it as it laid on its front. telling it how it felt, feels, more intimate this way with it than face to face. that position made it more aware again of His burning cunt. pain cascading to orgasm but this time it was confused and unsure. so it gave it to Master. making sure it could cum from the pain even though Cock was in its ass. yes yes it can cum from PAIN. yes and as it came He clamped one hand over its mouth and nose and ther other around its eyes. pushing it into a dark suffocating hole made of pain that was orgasm. a blinding rebirth and death a frantic pumping of its hips whines trying to escape its lips but there was no air and it is so dark intensity overwhelming it drowned.

when it drafted this in a notebook it was still twitching with reaction, writhing as it sat outside a coffee shop and wrote about that morning. no time to rest and recover in private. that is how He wanted it, and His will will be done.

after it came the pain still crested it to the edge of orgasm as He used its ass for His pleasure. fucking it. touching it. it begging, beseeching Him to be allowed to taste Cock taste its ass on Cock and Hepumping harder faster telling it to eat His cum, it turned quickly as He pulled out and feasted, making sure, as He slowed, to retain some in its mouth, so it could show Him His cum in its mouth, roll it around on its tongue and appreciate it. felt so good. tasted so good. and then it cleaned Cock with its mouth and then washed Cock one more time in the shower. and then He told it to go get coffee and sit outside and write this for its blog.

it carefully chose clothing to wear to be pleasing. red plaid short skirt and a white blouse, one button buttoned and then tied off to bare its tummy. a bra that works with that styling and gives it mountainous cleavage. hair up to show off its nape and collar. showing off the beauty of His property. freshly hurt, pissed in, fucked.

it did not hear from Master very much yesterday and that gave it time to think, and cause to think. to wonder. it usually hears from Him in the morning, but it did not. it usually hears something from Him. anything. but it did not. and so it looked at how it was feeling. and it was worried.

but it was not worried that He was gone from its life. not worried that He had tossed it aside with no warning. this time, it did not have those kinds of doubts, those kinds of monsters, eating at its soul. oh, they tried to get a foothold, but it did not even allow them a toehold. the thoughts were there, but powerless, and unaffected. what was a larger concern for it was the possibility that Master was hurt. injured in some way that prevented Him from texting it or calling it.

but at the same time it doubted that conclusion as well. because, although it felt rather silly thinking it, it felt that it would know if He was hurt. that it would just know. with a certainty unplagued by emotion. without panic or fear, it would know. and the very lack of panic of fear would tell it that it was a true thought. because He has bound it with His energy. He does use its own energy to bind it, but it is all flavored and tainted with His. bound up in His Will and Power. and something that injured Him badly enough to prevent communication would give a backlash it thinks. or even a draining as He took its energy to aid Himself.

the catholic church tried to teach it to believe in miracles and discount magic as unreal and evil (absurd in and of itself as how can something that does not exist be evil?). but the lesson was lost on it and it does believe in magic. has always believed in magic. for some reason it thinks of the story it wrote in eighth grade. about a witch, who sacrificed her younger brother in order to save her world. the teacher wouldn’t grade its paper. refused. never really liked its writing. so to replace it it wrote a one page piece of crap that got an A. it was a mocking story. devoid of sense. but the one on sacrifice. it felt that. deeply. it wishes it still had it, but it doesn’t. it is lost, perhaps only saved on old floppy disks in the house it grew up in. but perhaps not.

passion. and addiction.

it craves those things that bring it happiness. cum. piss. shit. pain. orgasms. love. it is a passionate addict to the nasty things that Master has shown it within itself.

and it believes in Master. and in magic.

it woke briefly, looking at the clock, seeing 7:29. Master had not arrived, so it allowed itself to collapse back into sleep. it must have been only a moment later that it heard the lock turn in the door. and automatically it froze. fear? a what if it isn’t Him reaction? possibly. but it waited until He was near and then it rose up and got Cock in its mouth, hardly even opening its eyes before taking It in its mouth. and then He pissed into it. using His urinal. so that the very first thing in its mouth this morning, the very first thing in its belly was Master’s piss.

He did not say, “good morning” or even “hello” to it. He simply took its mouth as His urinal in way of greeting it and waking it up. and there was a lot of piss this morning. piss that tasted different than usual as well. rather sweet and not so thick. there was definitely a salty element lacking in that first piss.

“I’m going to piss in it, and then it is going to suck Cock hard and I’m going to fuck its ass,” He told it. the timeline blurs in its head and it isn’t sure He said that before He began pissing or not. but that is how it happened. He pissed it in and it reveled in receiving so much of His piss. and when He finished it sucked and worshiped Cock. and then He pushed it down, face down on its sleep mat, roughly, taking it. first thing in the morning its ass is always tighter. soft grunts of pain escaped its lips.

but it knew better than to scream. even though Cock entering its asshole hurt it.

soon its ass began functioning as it should, as a pussy, lubing up and accepting Cock easily and smoothly. Master grabbed His kiva’s hair, controlling its head, pulling it, mauling it, moving His hands to its tits and taking one in each hand, pulling its torso up and back, pushing Cock farther inside it as He pulled it closer. His touch. almost too much. it can’t cum from Cock in its ass but oh how close it can get. especially with His hands controlling it, taking it, hurting it.

begging to be allowed to cum and He finally relented, pulling out and letting it feast on the taste of its ass on Cock, its pussy juice, shitty pussy juice leaving strings of goop on Cock that it licked off eagerly as it came. then He had it turn on its back and it had the wonder of finally being able to see Him without getting within a few inches while He fucked it like a woman. it recently made the leap to contact lenses and it was so happy to be able to really see His eyes as He validated its womanhood. and it wondered briefly if He could notice the difference in the way its eyes focused.

once again He pulled out and let it clean Cock of its foul pussy juices. He had time. and so He next told it to get Him a capfull of olive oil. so that He could hurt it. it knew what was coming. it knew, but it hoped that maybe the olive oil was for something else. He also handed it a box of razor blades and told it to take one out and boil it on the stove in water. and it knew what that was for as well. it brought Him the olive oil and it saw the baby medicine syringe. resigned. accepting. but still a bit fearful. it got Him a small cup to mix the olive oil with the hot chili oil. He told it He was going to do this. it knew. it knew. and yet it is strangely calm as it walks over and sits down. legs spread before Him.

“spread the cunt open for Me,” He told it. and it did, no hesitation. just opening up His cunt for Him. simple. not even a tremble. almost fearing the penetration more than the injection. “it knows it deserves this, doesn’t it?” He asked and it agreed. His cunt deserves this. this pain. this burning. this fire. the penetration didn’t hurt, not with the olive oil and its orgasms to lubricate the small object. and He quickly pumped the oil into it, it hardly felt that. but then, as a small prick, the burning began. “tell Me about what is experiencing,” He told it. and it tried. but its mind had shut down. focus squeezed down to the intense sensation developing between its legs. “it burns,” it sighed. “it burns.”

hotter. sharper. wetter. hours after the injection when it began to write it was still burning. still simmering. just enough to tease. to make it actually want more. to make it acknowledge that if He had been there, it would have begged Him for more. begged Him to put more hot oil in His cunt.

it came. the pain of the burn, its legs wrapped around one of His, Cock pressed against one leg, humping, writhing, crying out so intense, but it kept fairly quiet it knew He wanted it to take it, take it and cum. to be alive with pain. to feel. another box of goodies. needles. 16g piercing needles. He took one out of its sterile wrapping and put it against the kiva’s nipple. telling it by showing it what He would do before He did it. letting it anticipate a bit. fear a bit. and then He plunged the needled directly into its nipple and it could not stop itself. the burning had taken away any self-discipline it had. and it rocked back, feeling the needle wiggle and the burning flare as it came again from the pain, the intensity the pleasureful pain. and then, after it had been taken on that little ride He told it that it would take the pain and show its appreciation by cumming. and it felt better to know it was allowed. though it knew it was allowed. it is allowed to cum from pain. pain, sharp and intense and overwhelming makes it cum.

then He did the other nipple, His job made easier by having the ring to pull the flesh taut with. and harder with having to avoid the ring itself. right now its nipples feel so fucking alvie. the points remembered in its flesh throbbing, empty and longing to be filled again. filled with pain. as soon as He let go of the needle it flopped back, cumming, again unable to help its response, unable to resist the increase of pleasure that it got from the pain. the needles moving with its tits as it moved with its pleasure, writhing into yet more pain and pleasure. it could have gotten lost in that loop, but Master called it back.

flies were buzzing around it this morning as it wrote this in a notebook. probably because it smells like shit.

He called it back to itself. “isn’t it alive, isn’t living like this intense? go get the razor blade,” He told it. it had turned off the water at some point. now it emptied the pan (He did have to remind it to drain the pan of water, because its mind was not focused on little things like that. no, it was focused on the little needles in its tits and the big burn in the cunt between its legs.), and brought Him the sterilized razor blade.

and Master showed it how it will cut itself for Him. and told it why it would do such a thing, and when. demonstrating how on its flesh, a sharp pain a slice of its thigh flesh pain engulfing it, vying for attention against the burning and the needles, winning for a moment and then it passed and it stared, fascinated at the beads of blood springing up from its flesh, that Master had called forth with a blade. always an odd number of cuts. one cut on one inner thigh means two on the other side. always odd. He handed it the blade after demonstrating the first three cuts. and it pressed the blade to its flesh, and then looked Him in the eyes, as instructed. and cut itself. one on one leg and two on the other. and then He did the same. one more time. nine fine lines of blood along its inner thighs, nine fine lines of pain with every step it took today. sticking, pulling, tearing. it drowned in His eyes as it cut itself for Him. died in His eyes and was reborn in the torments of the flesh. reborn in pain.

the lines of beading blood on its inner thighs still stinging. when they are healed. when it misses Him desperately. then it can make sacrifice to God in flesh, blood and pain. cutting itself for Master. for His pleasure and amusement. so intense. so blurred. He had the blade. put it aside. and then, in a quick motion, plucked the needles from its nipples at the same time. it writhed again into orgasm from the sensation, its nipples sensitive oh so sensitive, the tiniest dots of blood seeping out them like a mockery of milk.

to be continued…

the kiva requires cum fed into its belly. hot, Mmale cum. pulsing down its throat. titillating its taste buds. filling it. consecrating it.

and yet, of all the dirty, nasty needs that the kiva has, that one has ben the hardest one for it to accept as a requirement for its happiness. the hardest one for it to beg for, not just vocally but with its body and soul as well. why has this hunger, need, requirement, been so hard for it to own?

when it first was getting into bdsm, it was asked about its limits. and it couldn’t think of much beyond the obvious things like wanting to remain alive and keep all its limbs. but one thing that did come to mine was cum. it hated the taste of cum and didn’t want anyone to cum in its mouth. it had, in fact, hated sucking cock, but it had learned to get beyond that and enjoy the act somewhat (the one thing the husband did right by it).

the first time it tried sucking a cock was behind a grocery store late at night. the boy who would be the one to take its virginity. the first night it had met him. it did not like the taste of his cock. and from that point on decided it didn’t like sucking cock. so when was the next time it sucked cock? college. of course. it had gotten drunk. passed out in a sophomore’s room. it was a freshman and had a crush on said sophomore, but knew that the guy did not want one with baggage like it had. so, when it awoke, it was surprised to find itself in his bed, instead of his chair, and more surprised when he began touching it. petting. caresses. and he put it in a position where it couldn’t say no, being what it is. he ended up straddling its neck. his cock ripely hard and in its face. and yet, when it told him not to cum in its mouth, he obeyed it.

and even though it learned to enjoy sucking the husband’s cock, somewhat. it never did much with cum. usually it did not suck him off to orgasm. and when it did, it wouldn’t let him cum in its mouth. though it did try to taste is once, it got a big cold glob and nearly puked. it really literally, nearly puked its guts out.

and then Master enters its life. at first it thinks that cum in its mouth will not be an issue, because He told it the first time He and it talked that He did not cum in female mouths. that females mouths are for cleaning. and then a few months later, He came in its mouth. the first female mouth He had cum in for years. feeding it. a kindness. and yet, the stigma that it felt from the act colored its responses.

it did not want to seem as if it was making Him cum. it does not want that. it does not want power. and it needed to learn, truly learn, that Master cumming in its mouth will only happen if He chooses. and He will only choose if it begs, pleads, and does His will. the power remains completely His, because He can choose not to cum. He has taught it how to suck Cock well, but it cannot make Him cum.

it has felt uneasy for weeks. uncertain, unsteady, and off balance. not knowing why. it even thought to itself at one point this past week, He beat it, why doesn’t it feel better? it should feel better. and a tiny spark of self doubt and disgust blossomed. and it was beginning to bloom and spiral out of control, so slowly and sneakily that it did not even see it. but Master did. and He gave it a verbal slap in the face. waking it up to the burgeoning panic within. alerting it to what was missing from its life.

cum.

He showed it this morning that it requires cum. and it was nearly in tears from the verbal slap, did in fact cry a bit, as He continued to push it with words into places in its head that the monsters within wish to keep it out of. and took its break at work outside, so that it could talk to Him should He wish to call. He did call and talked to it and it felt so much better after saying, “please feed it, please feed it cum in its belly, please it requires cum please feed it,” speaking low and desperate, so as not to be overheard. wishing to say more but not daring lest someone did overhear.

even just acknowledging that it requires cum, even just begging Him over the phone, cleared its head enough for it to get through the day relatively happy. it won’t be good until it gets fed. and so when it next sees Him it knows what it must do. it must show Him. truly show Him its urgent requirement and neediness for His cum in its mouth as it sucks and worships Cock. it must show Him with its body, mind and soul. it must beg with its body, mind and soul.

Master owns its life, owns it.

the kiva spent the day in court. well not quite the whole day. but it did miss half a day of work to go to the courthouse for its hearing.

it is now divorced.

the kiva had a husband. and he did not know what to do with it. so, in the end, he did nothing with it. he stagnated while it yearned for something more. and Master came along and showed it what it was missing. took it from him, with its full consent and happiness. Master gave it happiness to compare to the dragging despair that was all the husband ever gave it. and it knew that although it had thought it the right choice at the time, that the marriage was not for it.

it was married three years. and the husband maybe fucked it a dozen times.

imagine. a “man” married to fuck meat. and he didn’t use it. couldn’t use it. was incapable of using it. not strong enough, not purposeful enough.

the kiva is weak. and used to be a lot weaker. but the husband was so much weaker than it. so much less. so devoted to being unhappy. and more devoted to pornography than to the kiva. which seems absurd to it, considering how pornographic its life has been for the last year.

but it no longer understands many of the things that it thought were reasons to marry. the desire for children. it no longer has that. it just. marriage and children were what it was “supposed” to want. there were no other paths that it could see to fulfillment. it had a traditional catholic upbringing and that was the path to happiness. that and getting away from home.

but Master has shown it that there are other paths. that the failure of the traditional path is not a failure in it, but a failure of the path itself. not everyone can find happiness in marriage. and it knows that not everyone can find happiness drinking hot piss from Cock. but that is where the kiva has found happiness. being beaten. ass fucked. drinking piss. eating shit.

it once, jokingly, told the husband it would rather eat shit than anchovies. he laughed at it, and insisted it was lying. though it was serious, it let him think it a joke. because he would not have been able to handle the truth. he isn’t that strong. he wouldn’t understand that there are foods that it likes less than it likes shit. that that is just the way it is wired.

so now the kiva is legally free. free to be Master’s. free to be enslaved. fully. deeply. joyously.

“go taste skunk for Me,” He texted it.

it was at work. it excused itself from its desk to innocently take a bathroom break. tra la la down the hall to the restroom. stepping lightly into a stall. big smiles for any and all it passes.

settling itself on the toilet. all it needs to do is lift its skirt, it only wears underwear if it is on its period. it bends over a bit before sitting, so as to pull skunk out without it touching the seat, just in case there is shit on it. it would look very awkward if it were to lick shit off the seat. but what else could it do if some got scraped off?

a wet scraping feeling. oh yes. there would be a treat for it.

*pop*

skunk comes out with a noise that it hopes will pass for a fart in the head of any who might also be in the restroom and hear. a wet noise. a dirty noise.

bringing skunk carefully around to its mouth, it eyes the feast for a moment before engulfing it. with someone else in a nearby stall it does not dare to lick it. that might make too much noise that would be unusual. farts can be explained away, but sucking noises? that is a bit much for the minds of its coworkers to deal with it thinks.

so it sucks silently on its shit coated butt plug. savoring the flavor. the texture. feeling a gag impulse rear and pass with no gag. just contentment. happiness. thinking fondly of getting to eat Master’s shit at some point. to really eat it. mouthfuls. it will need to have plenty of water nearby, because shit dries out so quickly once it leaves the ass that it can get dry and hard to swallow from lack of water.

then, once most of the shit is down its throat it removes skunk.

its mouth makes a wet, sucking, kissing noise as skunk leaves it, and it tries to hold on. oops. there really is someone in the next stall. hopefully they won’t think about what that noise might mean. they probably can’t conceive of what the noise really is. and if they do, then they are a coworker it wants to get to know better.

just a few spots left. it licks them carefully, quietly, before wiping and going on its way.

shit flavoring its mouth.

its only regret is that it must clear the flavor out with breath mints per Master’s standing orders. no shit breath at work. and it understands. but it does so love the taste of its shit in its mouth.

it was a bit woozy, having just finished its daily exercise, and not having yet drank any water or gatorade. and then He texted it. and it was happy to hear the phone chime when it was not expecting Him to contact it until tomorrow at the very earliest.

“Fuck meat”

that is all Master texted His kiva.

and for a moment, it thought to itself, “what meat does He want it to fuck? it has sausages in the freezer…”

then it realized that He was not issuing a command but merely stating an appellation.

it is a fuck meat. a piece of meat with the proper holes for fucking. two holes at any rate. dirty ass and hot mouth. just a piece of meat for Master to fuck should He choose to. a willing puppet pet of meat.

fuck meat.